Do buyer “love letters” really help—or can they cause more harm than good?
In today’s competitive market across Raleigh, Cary, Apex, Holly Springs, and Fuquay Varina, some buyers still consider writing a personal letter to sellers in hopes of winning an edge. While heartfelt, these letters—often called buyer love letters—come with potential risks sellers and buyers should understand before using them.
Here’s what you need to know.
What Are Buyer Love Letters?
A buyer love letter is a personal note that explains who the buyer is, why they love the home, and why they hope the seller will choose their offer.
These letters were once common, but most agents now advise against them because—even if unintentional—they can create legal risks.
Why Are Buyer Love Letters Risky?
The Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination based on protected characteristics such as:
Race
National origin
Religion
Sex or gender identity
Sexual orientation
Familial status
Disability
If a buyer’s letter reveals personal details tied to these categories—like religion, family structure, or background—it could open the door to discrimination claims. Even if the seller makes a decision based only on financial terms, the perception of bias can create legal problems.
Are Buyer Love Letters Illegal?
No—buyer letters are still legal nationwide. Oregon briefly banned them in 2021, but the law was overturned.
That said, many agents discourage them because of the risks. It’s always safer to focus on the strength of the offer itself, rather than personal details.
Do Buyer Love Letters Actually Work?
Some sellers say a love letter made a difference in their choice. But in competitive markets, the reality is this: strong financial terms usually win out.
For example, an all-cash offer or one well over asking price is far more compelling than a letter—no matter how heartfelt it may be.
As a Seller, Should You Accept a Buyer’s Letter?
You can—but proceed carefully. Even unconsciously, personal details may influence your decision. To stay protected, focus on:
Offer price
Contingencies
Closing timeline
Financial strength of the buyer
Always review offers with your agent before making a decision.
As a Buyer, Should You Write a Letter?
Talk with your agent first. In most cases, the safer strategy is to avoid it. If you do write one, leave out any personal information tied to protected characteristics. Instead, focus on:
Features of the home you admire
How you’ll take care of the property
Appreciation for the seller’s effort in maintaining it
How Else Can Buyers Stand Out?
Instead of writing a letter, consider:
Getting pre-approved for a mortgage
Offering a larger earnest money deposit
Providing a flexible closing date
Minimizing contingencies (only when it’s safe to do so)
These strategies demonstrate seriousness and financial strength—without the risks.
Buyer Love Letters: The Bottom Line
Buyer love letters can feel warm and personal, but the legal risks usually outweigh the rewards. If you’re a seller, focus on the offer details. If you’re a buyer, lean on financial strength and strategy instead.
Your best move? Work with a knowledgeable local REALTOR® who understands how to structure a competitive, compliant offer in today’s market.
Next Step
I’m Paul Huber, REALTOR® with Huber Real Estate, helping buyers and sellers across Raleigh, Cary, Apex, Holly Springs, and Fuquay Varina navigate the market with confidence. If you’re ready to buy or sell, let’s connect and create a smart strategy for success.